When something painful, negative or traumatic happens to us, we often don't get it out of our systems and the effects accumulate. In the course of just living, we're bombarded with traumas, grief, fear, anger, and other emotions. The memories of these experiences accumulate and are retained on many levels, even in our bodies.
We react to trauma on many levels: physically, we flinch, grimace or go into shock; energetically, our space has been violated; mentally, we deny or rationalize the experience; emotionally, we become angry, shameful, frustrated, sad, fearful, humiliated; spiritually, we lose our will, plunge into doubt or depression, etc. We may feel lost or without purpose in our lives. If we don't release these memories, they can trouble us forever, often resulting in illness.
Permanent behavioral patterns to trauma are locked in our subconscious. They form whenever pain (physical, emotional or spiritual) trance (partial/total unconsciousness) or negative thinking etches itself into our psyche. Imagine as a child, you were riding your bike and a dog frightened you and you fell, hitting your head. Someone said, "Don't move!" while they chased the dog to help you. Years later, whenever you see a dog, you become paralyzed and afraid. The subconscious pattern, "Don't move," is activated. In this way, we accumulate many such debilitating patterns.
A client suffered from a fear that she wasn't safe. She avoided people, staying home rather than being social as usual. We learned that when she was five, she wandered into her parents bedroom at an intimate moment. Her father yelled "Get out or I'll kill you!" She ran and fell, hitting her head. She experienced pain: physical--her head; emotional--fear, terror, shame; spiritual--her father threatened to kill her; mental--believing she deserved to be killed; energetic--her father's rage violated her. Dazed and hurt, the instructions, "Get out or I'll kill you!" set a pattern in her subconscious. In college, she had a similar situation. She suddenly felt fear, yet she was not in danger. She began to have headaches, and to withdraw. Life did not seem safe. We discovered she'd had emotional abuse throughout her childhood and other patterns reinforced this pattern. Her life began to transform when she released this pattern. She began to feel free, at ease with herself and others. Her spirit returned and she began a fulfilling relationship, hopeful in her future.
The effects of traumas such as abuse, loss or illness, or commands such as "Be a good girl or a good boy," or "Don't be upset, eat!," "Don't be angry!" or "Good boys are quiet!" are programmed into us at a very early age. Later on when triggered, we find ourselves having feelings we don't understand and can't control. We behave in destructive ways, contrary to our true nature. We may acquire addictions, depression, or phobias.
To survive, we rationalize the way we're treated and create beliefs such as "There must be something wrong with me for them to treat me this way;" "I'm not good enough;" "I'm not worthy;" "I can't do anything right." We learned to cope this way in order to survive. These patterns and beliefs are endless. By middle age, they've put lines and scowls in our faces, a hunch in our shoulders made us fat or skinny, or turned us into alcoholics or drug addicts. Everyone who has compulsive behavior is trying to stopthat "gnawing feeling"--the accumulated pain of life's experiences.
After years of therapies, rationalizing, justifying and figuring everything out, we're still unable to change our behavior because we still carry these traumatic memories and patterns in our body, mind, and soul. To truly change our behavior, we must heal the body, mind and soul. For complete healing, it's necessary to release traumatic memories and patterns on all levels--physical, emotional, mental, energetic and spiritual. The Healer must see, sense and feel what you're experiencing, and make it safe for you to heal. A real healer won't have an agenda and blindly apply technique, but will utilize modalities appropriate to your needs.
Tom Healy and Lisa Kyle are co-creators of FreedomWorks! which offers workshops on mental, emotional and spiritual release work