Mother Earth (Gaia) through Pepper Lewis
Dear Mother Earth,
My last few years have been full of growth opportunities and spiritual development. I can really see how far I have come and how much I have grown. But I cannot seem to manifest loving personal relationships or even understand them. I have never felt real love from my parents or from any other relationship I have ever had. I feel powerless about this and am now wondering if what I call true love even exists here on Earth. Is it possible for me to give, receive and experience love in its truest sense?
Indeed it is. But perhaps it would be interesting to discover why you have saved this delicious subject for last. Of course, you are not the only one who has made this choice. Please know that you are not alone in your quest and that the following words are most appropriate for others as well.
You have come from and have previous knowledge of several other worlds, worlds filled with other kinds of beings with other kinds of bodies. Some of these worlds supported physical life, though the life forms were not necessarily human. These worlds were quite different than those you understand today. Your human mind would consider some of your past experiences near-impossibilities.
You have been a traveler of sorts, a traveler and an explorer of the multiverse rather than the universe. Your travels have taken you to gigantic and minute universes alike. Mostly you have traveled by what can be called mind or source travel, which is simply a very subtle method of shifting your consciousness and maneuvering it about purposefully. This method allowed you to travel to many different universes via interdimensional doorways and portals in less than a second of Earth time. This, of course, is not yet understood by current Earth technology. It will be some time before it is considered a viable or acceptable form of travel.
For a long, long time you found your journey quite satisfactory. Your travels afforded you great insight about life on these other worlds, and you found accumulating knowledge through experience to be pleasurable. Simultaneously you were a scientist, an explorer and a philosopher. This experience was for the most part a solitary one, though you did not feel alone or lonely. Pure consciousness exists in the mind of Creator, therefore walking with Creator is never a solitary experience. You could well have chosen to share this experience with a group such as a soul cluster, but whenever this thought would arise, you would usually dismiss it or defer it to a later date.
Your travels paved the way for you to make many grand discoveries. Your present human brain cannot not contain all these experiences, though they are currently stored in your multidimensional consciousness. Although this knowledge has been mostly dormant, you now have the ability to access these experiences and memories if you wish.
After you had traveled the outer worlds for a long time, you began to tire of that journey. You then turned your attention to all the inner worlds and traveled them as well. You became fascinated with the exploration of inner space. Here there were no bodies, and sometimes there was no sound, only vibration and frequency emitted by the creative thought processes of that world.
Because you have traveled and journeyed without and within, it could be said about you that your journeys have allowed you to gain more experiences than others. Still, you had the distinct feeling that you had somehow missed something important along the way, though you could not imagine what that could be.
Eventually, this feeling led you here to planet Earth. Upon arrival you expanded your consciousness in the usual way, remaining open to new discoveries, thoughts and ideas. The Earth itself, as well as my sentience within and about the planet, was a paradox to you. Regardless of how you tried to adjust or expand your consciousness, you simply could not make sense of it all. All your previous journeys and experiences had not prepared you for the experience of free will and the creativity it offered. You did not understand the purpose behind the design of the human body, finding it slightly humorous and a bit grotesque. Neither did you understand the mind and the heart, and the interdependence of one upon the other. You did not understand why the heart interpreted the thoughts of the mind and then expressed them through the body, using it as a vehicle for that expression. The more you dwelled on the subject, the more barbaric and savage the whole idea seemed to you.
You saw no reason to consider incarnating on the physical plane. You spent a good deal of time watching others come and go. Into and out of bodies they came and went, time and again. In a fascinated stupor, you questioned and interviewed others between lifetimes. “What is the value in this experience?” you would ask. Most simply shrugged and continued along their way. “You do not appear to be growing or evolving, yet somehow you are,” you would comment to another. Some would attempt to share their more recent experiences with you and tell you why they were most anxious to have yet another lifetime, but you did not understand.
“You appear to be alone and yet you are not,” you continued. It was as if they were speaking a language that was foreign to you, and in a sense it was. “You appear to be quite alone and yet you are not,” you would reflect to another. When they simply got in line to do it again, all you could do was wait and watch.
Sometimes the beings would linger for a short time. You thought that if you shared some of your past experiences from your many travels, perhaps it might prevent them from having to experience another needless lifetime upon the Earth. Most of them could not comprehend the concepts you attempted to relate to them, whereas others were disinterested, to say the least. A few did not even believe you at all. They thought that perhaps your stories were a carryover from a past incarnation, possibly the result of an intoxicated lifestyle that you had not yet released. This, of course, only served to further perplex you. Try as you might, you could not tear yourself away from the Earth or from the beings who continually made their way here. What was left to do, then, but try physical embodiment yourself?
You decided that you would allow yourself to experience one Earthly incarnation. You pondered this decision for some time, examining its relative merits and potential pitfalls from many different angles. You were certain that one attempt would not get you caught up in the invisible web that seemed to captivate others so. You would try it once and only once for the sake of experimentation, or so you told yourself.
For this incarnation you chose physical surroundings and a lifestyle that kept you distant from any relationships or other entanglements. You lived the life of a recluse, a hermit. You chose the life of a desert nomad because this allowed you to be alone for long periods of time. You felt odd within the confines of the physical body and had great difficulty operating it. You did not move about with ease or fluidity. “Why does it require so much care?” you wondered. You wanted to see, do and know everything. You did not want to sleep, but your body did. You did not want to pause occasionally in order to consume food, but your body did. You often tested the body’s boundaries, and a few occasions even found you nearly out of the body permanently for lack of care.
Some days brought you within close proximity of other individuals, and they would sometimes invite you to share a meal, a warm fire and a tent. You did not accept these invitations for fear that you would get caught in an Earthly web that would forever bind you to the physical plane. All of your accumulated knowledge and experience had not taught you to simply relax and enjoy the company of another; trust and faith were foreign to you. Occasionally you were threatened with physical violence. You did not fear the loss of your body, yet confrontation of any kind was distasteful to you. You always found a way to avoid these situations, even at a dear cost. Sometimes you would spend long hours looking up at the starry sky. Something was beginning to stir deep within you that had not been there prior to this experience, and you wondered what that could be.
You did not remember that you could ask for and receive guidance and support from everything around you. It had not occurred to you to ask for assistance, and in any case you did not think you would be here long enough to return the favor. In the haste of those final moments of preparation, you did not hear my whisper. You did not hear me say to you, “Everything is alive and will support you. Everything is alive and will love you.” Your mind and your thoughts were well trained and familiar to you, but your heart was not, and these words could be heard only by the heart.