The purpose of this exercise is to help you learn to become detached from the results of your actions. When you are detached from the results of your actions you can more easily stay completely immersed in the moment, fully enjoying each step along the path you are on. This can dramatically increase the effectiveness of your actions (i.e., you get consistently better results!), the clarity of your thought improves, making decisions is greatly simplified, worry and distress are reduced or eliminated.
Step 1: Look back over your life and pick out three examples of success, accomplishment or achievement (times when you got what you wanted), and three examples of failure, defeat, disappointment, loss, or tragedy (times when you did not get what you wanted).
Step 2: Reflect on your successes. How have they contributed to the formation of your character? How have they helped to mould the person you have become? How have they helped you to grow and develop as a human being? How have they helped you to increase your capacity to give and receive friendship, intimacy and love? How have they helped you to develop qualities such as generosity, kindness, compassion, humility, selflessness, creativity, honesty, expanded awareness and wisdom? How have they contributed to the quality of your life? How have they helped to make your life a good life? How have they helped prepare you to discover and follow your life's work-your bliss? How have they helped you have faith in something greater than yourself?
Step 3: Reflect on your failures. How have they contributed to the formation of your character? How have they helped to mould the person you have become? How have they helped you to grow and develop as a human being? How have they helped you to increase your capacity to give and receive friendship, intimacy and love? How have they helped you to develop qualities such as generosity, kindness, compassion, humility, selflessness, creativity, honesty, and expanded awareness and wisdom? How have they contributed to the quality of your life? How have they helped to make your life a good life? How have they helped prepare you to discover and follow your life's work-your bliss? How have they helped you have faith in something greater than yourself?
Step 4: Compare your reflections on success and failure. Was there any great difference between how these things have contributed to the quality of your life today? Were you surprised to discover that not getting what you want often helped you to grow and develop in ways that were ultimately positive, however painful they may have been when they were happening? Did you discover that in hindsight failures have been equally valuable to successes in making your life what it is today? Could you conclude that in this context, success and failure is equal? Can this help you to let go of attachment to results of your actions? According the Christian mystic John Climacus, "I find myself amazed by the way in which inward joy and gladness mingle with what we call mourning and grief, like honey in a comb."
Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover's romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more info Visit www.tantra-sex.com, www.sexyspiritualrelationships.com and their blog www.askaboutloveandsex.com or send email: